I'm so fuckin tired. I just wanna sleep and only wake up when they need me for something. Then I'm not going to hurt them. I want the poison out of my chest and someone I could tell. Who wouldn't be hurt shocked worried or anything. Who would just distract me. Someone who could see me. But that would take an enormous amount of trust and I'm afraid I don't have very much of that in stock.
Just to think, Only 4 hours ago I felt ok again in a very long time. I hoped it would stick around for at least 12 h. Silly me.
I think that this might be hell. For I can imagine no worse, and must have done something truly awful to be sent to this particular level.

I'm scared of myself because I know I will probably hurt everyone I care for in the worst way imaginable. Guilt and betrayal.

So where am i?
U don't know me at all.
I'll give u this one. I'm in the apple tree, which is not an apple tree, but it has never produced a single thing resembling an apple. Nor has it produced a single thing resembling an apple. Nor has it produced a pear, so it is not a pear tree. Nor has it produced a pineapple, so it is clearly not a pineapple tree. The only thing I have ever seen it produce is thin gray leaves, so I will call it a gray-leaf tree.
That's where I am. Sitting in the gray-leaf tree.
There's a full moon out tonight, so if i were a werewolf or a vampire I would be hungry or thirsty for flesh or blood. But I'm full with the gluey spaghetti and golf ball meatballs from dinner. The only effect the moon has on me is to make me think of mrs.moonface and my fine pages of algebra homework that is really her homework, except that for some reason i'm the one who got stuck with it.
mrs.moonface assigns us so much homework because she is miserable and lonely. I wrote a poem to her. It's not a very good poem, but I don't really care. The first stanza goes like this:

Mrs.moonface, get a life,
Get a nose ring, fly a kite,
Find a bf, learn to ski,
Just stop taking it out on me

I don't know about you but I would much rather skateboard with my fingers on your collarbone than fuck you from behind.

Lonely girl never catch love.Oh, so cruel.

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